Hmm, well for starters, unless you establish collaborators in your base, the ability to “update” the way you described it is not baseline functionality of Airtable. There is a slick third-part app on the market you can find here:
It sounds like you’re trying to leverage the lookup functionality. Have you seen this yet?
Airtable - Support
Guide to formula, lookup, rollup, and other computed fields
Computed fields (columns) are special field types ...
I personally don’t have a solution for this (yet) but after a quick search, I found a couple of links that might help:
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